December 7, 2020

Popular Foods That No Longer Exist

Koogle Spread

Kraft introduced this innovative, artificially flavored peanut spread with the funny name in 1971. Koogle came in several varieties, including chocolate, cinnamon, vanilla, and banana, and could be slathered on anything or eaten straight out of the jar.

One of the key selling points was a smooth texture that didn’t stick to your mouth, probably resulting from a higher concentration of chemicals that also made it so damn delish. Marketing centered around a bizarre jive-talking mascot with four eyes and blue hair, and sang “Pea-nutty-koogle with the koo-koo-koogly eyes!” while dancing a jig.

Sluggish sales led to future commercials taking a more wholesome approach, portraying mothers and kids sitting around the kitchen table. Yawn. The toned-down pitch didn’t help as Koogle failed to make it out of the decade alive.